Why Nobody Prepared Us for This

Menopause support for women has never been better — but most of us didn’t know that when we first crossed this threshold alone. When I got my first period, my mother was there. She sat me down, explained what was happening, what to expect, and how to move forward. It wasn’t the most comfortable conversation — but it was there. A hand reaching across the threshold into womanhood, steadying me as I crossed.

That phase — from first menstruation through our reproductive years — lasts a good 30 to 40 years. We grow into our bodies during that time. We learn how we eat, how we exercise, what to adjust when we want to lose weight or build muscle. The changes were manageable. The feedback was relatively clear. We figured out our bodies and we got comfortable in them.

And then perimenopause shows up.

And most of us cross that threshold completely alone.

Where Is Our Mother for This Part?

Here’s what strikes me: as we enter perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, we often don’t have the support of our mothers to tell us what the heck is going on. And even if they were still around — even if we could pick up the phone and call them — the truth is they might not have been able to help us anyway. Because symptoms of menopause differ so wildly from woman to woman that no single experience could have prepared us for our own.

Mild hot flashes. Or debilitating night sweats that drench the sheets at 3am. Or neither of those — but crushing fatigue, brain fog so thick you can’t finish a sentence, joint pain that makes you feel 80 when you’re 52. The drop in estrogen is the primary driver of the dramatic body composition changes women experience during this phase. And the hormonal shifts don’t stop there — they can create mood swings that swing from confusion to anger to depression, sometimes within the same afternoon.

We are not imagining it. We are not being dramatic. We are navigating a profound physiological transition with very little roadmap and, historically, very little support.

For more on how these hormonal changes affect body composition and overall wellbeing, read my post on body image and menopause.

The Good News: This Is the Best Time in History to Go Through This

Here’s where I want you to take a breath. Because while our mothers couldn’t fully prepare us for this, we now have something they didn’t — a growing army of brilliant, passionate women on the forefront of menopause research and advocacy who are changing everything.

Let me introduce you to a few of them if you haven’t already found your way to their work.

Dr. Stephanie Faubion

Is the Medical Director of The Menopause Society and Director of Mayo Clinic’s Center for Women’s Health. She is one of the leading clinical voices on menopause care in the country and the author of The New Rules of Menopause — a practical, evidence-based guide to navigating this transition with clarity and confidence.

Dr. Mary Claire Haver

Is a board-certified OB-GYN, Certified Menopause Practitioner, and the founder of The ‘Pause Life. She is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The New Menopause and the newly released The New Perimenopause — two books that have done more to demystify this phase for everyday women than almost anything else in recent memory. With over 7 million social media followers, she is leading the conversation about changing menopause healthcare from the inside out.

Dr. Stacy Sims

Is an international exercise physiologist and nutrition scientist whose rallying cry — “women are not small men” — has become a battle cry for every woman who has ever followed fitness or nutrition advice designed for men and wondered why it wasn’t working for her. Her books ROAR and Next Level and her popular TEDx talk are essential reading and viewing for any woman who wants to understand how to train, fuel, and recover in a way that actually works for her female physiology — especially in midlife. Learn more at drstacysims.com.

We Are Not Crazy. We Are Settling Into a New Normal.

Menopause support for women has come a long way — and these three trailblazers are the reason why. What these trailblazers share — and what I want you to hold onto — is a fundamental truth: the approaches that worked for us in our 30s and 40s often don’t work anymore. Not because we’ve failed. Not because we’re broken. But because our bodies have changed in ways that require a genuinely different approach to exercise, nutrition, sleep, stress, and self-care.

We are not small men. We are not younger versions of ourselves. We are postmenopausal women navigating a new normal — and that new normal deserves to be met with the right information, the right support, and the right strategy.

And if you want to go deeper on how to reconnect with your body through food during this transition, read my post on intuitive eating for midlife women.

This is not the end of feeling good in your body. In many ways, it’s the beginning of understanding it more deeply than you ever have.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

Our mothers shepherded us into womanhood. Now it’s time to find our own guides for this next chapter. The resources are there. The research is growing. The conversation is finally happening.

And health and wellness coaching is one more tool in that arsenal — helping you take all of this information and translate it into a plan that actually fits your life, your body, and your goals.

You are not crazy. You are not alone. And this is absolutely the best time in history to grow through this.

Ready to build your plan? Book a complimentary discovery call at thewellnesshubnyc.com.