My “Stuck” Story: What I Learned About Getting Unstuck

Feeling stuck is a feeling of immobility which can create depression

I’m stuck. I have to admit it. Despite helping people improve their lives through movement, touch, and coaching, I’ve allowed my own well to run dry. Let me show you what that looks like.

From Stuckness…

Lack of Movement

I was an avid gym rat in my 20s and a National and World Champion Powerlifter in my 30s. Yet, my late 50s and early 60s were virtually devoid of weight training. This resulted in a noticeable loss of muscle tone and a flabbiness that truly upset me. I was well aware that after your 30s, muscle loss (up to 8 pounds per decade, accelerating in your 60s) is inevitable without intentional efforts to maintain it. My self-perception was that of a woman who was tight and toned. Still, I simply couldn’t drag myself out of bed in the morning to get to the gym.

Feeling of Isolation

I moved from a vibrant community — a move that wasn’t my choice — one filled with everything I loved: cozy coffee shops, diverse restaurants, and a gym I adored. I landed in a neighborhood that offered none of these things, only big box chains, fast food, and a Starbucks. Once I broke up with my fiancé, the sense of isolation became unbearable.

My life felt like an episode of Groundhog Day. I’d wake up late, catch the bus (a bus I truly disliked) to the train for work, then head straight home. There, I’d eat, enjoy a glass of Cava (okay, usually more than a glass), and then head to bed late for a restless night’s sleep, thanks to the Cava. Alarm, snooze, up late, rush. Repeat.

Lack of Autonomy

As an independent contractor and a budding business owner without sufficient savings, I had control over my schedule but no control over my time. This meant no vacations to unwind, relax, release, or create.

Missing a Sense of Community

I’m far. It genuinely feels like I live in the hinterlands. Yes, I live in NYC, the city that never sleeps. But as I like to say, she may not sleep, but she sure takes long naps. This distance meant I rarely went out with friends, and I didn’t audition for plays. I was sorely lacking a sense of play in my life.

It wasn’t just draining my battery. My battery was corroded.

…To Flow

How long can one remain stuck, constantly focusing on feelings of lack? Hopefully, you eventually get tired of it and turn things around before it makes you sick.

A few months ago, I began to intentionally think about what I could do to improve my situation:

• If I lived closer to my clients, my commute would be cut in half.
• If I found a roommate, I could cut my expenses and save more money, giving me the ability to take much-needed time for myself.
• I was burned out from direct patient contact, so I researched how to transition to remote coaching. This would give me autonomy over both my schedule and my time.
• I stopped having nightly glasses of Cava, which, predictably, allowed me to have a better night’s sleep.
• I started exercising at home: three days of bodyweight exercises, two days of HIIT, and two days of Pilates. I’ve since renewed my gym membership and plan to replace my bodyweight days with gym sessions. For now, I just need to move.
• I joined Meetup groups for hiking and walking tours around the city to foster a sense of community.

I’m still in the midst of figuring it all out. I have boxes of things piled up in my living room ready to donate. In terms of where I’ll be living, I haven’t a clue yet. But I’m actively moving through the throes of stuckness towards the freedom of flow.